The Procrastinating Ends Tomorrow!

Last winter, there were days that I thought I wouldn’t survive until summer. I did, though, and today my family leaves for Ft. Lauderdale to hop cruise aboard the Oasis of the Seas that leaves tomorrow.  The laziness is about to commence.  I will, most likely, achieve a legendary level of slothfulness.

One of the pitfalls of prolonged beach chair duty, though, is the potential to begin looking like an actual slug. Especially when I develop an intimate relationship with a roving cocktail waiter.  I mean, how great is it that a cute guy with a pleasant personality will bring me anything I want to eat or drink?

It reminds me of my week on Waikiki last December.

I spotted what I wanted to drink on my very first day in Honolulu. Duke’s, the famous Waikiki restaurant, makes a frozen concoction called a “Second Captain.” It’s Captain Morgan rum and banana liqueur blended with fresh bananas and a swirl of raspberry puree. Heaven in a souvenir cup, no?

Determined that I would NOT gain ten pounds during my week on Waikiki, I avoided eye contact with the cocktail waiters. “Tomorrow. I’ll have one tomorrow” was my mantra for the entire week. And guess what? It dawned on me during the plane ride home that I never had a Second Captain.

While we’re on the subject of captains, the first captain I ever knew in my life was my grandfather. He was a World War Two fighter pilot who, for more than thirty years, flew all over the world as a pilot for an international freight company. And sometime during the 1950s, he flew to Puerto Rico. I know that because after he died a few years ago, my grandmother gave me two bottles of Bacardi rum that he’d brought back from Puerto Rico in the late 1950s.

I put those bottles away. They would never be opened, I decided, not because they might be valuable, but because they were a cool reminder of my Pa.

I opened my cabinet the other day to find that one of the bottles is half gone. And I got upset. Someone had taken the only thing I had left from my grandfather. But then I remembered this quote, which has been attributed to various sources:

“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini (or Second Captain) in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, ‘Holy Shit! What a ride!’”

So in that spirit, I’m going to blend some banana liqueur and fresh bananas with the rest of Pa’s rum and add a swirl of raspberry puree. And I’m going to toast Pa with those words and enjoy every last sip of what I call a “First Captain.”

And I’ll do it today.  Tomorrow, I’ll have a bucket of Coronas.  Or maybe a Miami Vice.  It’s going to be a fun ride.

(I almost forgot  — I will not leave you stranded, my dear readers, while I’m slothing around.  I’m going to leave you with stories from my recent trip to Italy while I’m cruising the Caribbean.  I know.  It sucks to be me.)

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