Tagged with dachshunds

Tweet My St. Augustine Record column from December 5, 2015, reprinted below: I have a pair of geriatric dachshunds who have managed to cram quite a bit of excitement into their brief lives. For starters, Laverne and Shirley are on the vicious animals list in Henry County, Ga., for biting a tax assessor several years […]

Tweet The people who owned my house before I bought it had the ridiculous notion that if one of something is a good thing, ten of that thing is even better.  While that logic might be true with, say, jelly beans or dollars, it does not extrapolate to things like children, time in a tanning […]

Tweet I walked into my parents’ house the other night, and, like every other time I walk through the door, my mom’s Chihuahua began simultaneously growling and trembling. Bambi weighs 11 ½ pounds.  She’s an obese Chihuahua with a stripper name, and she’s also highly conflicted.  Bambi loves me because I am, after all, the […]

Tweet My twin nieces used to keep a list of people who had done something to deserve their ire.  And it’s never taken much to make the list.  My son got himself permanently on the bad list, for example, simply by refusing to tell them how to spell his name. We all keep a mental […]

Tweet My dad and my three-legged dog are kindred souls.  It’s not because Pancho is missing a leg and Dad limps because of pinched nerves in his spine.  Neither is it because both are despised by Bambi, my mom’s obese Chihuahua.  Or because Dad’s specialty is ribs, and Pancho adores ribs. Every time my dad […]

Tweet I have an uncle who answers the question “How are you?” by saying, “Well, I’m better than a poke in the eye.” My little dachshund, Laverne, is not better than a poke in the eye today.  She looks like she’s been in a bar fight.  I let her out to run in the yard […]

Tweet You might not know this about me, but I’m a contestant on a reality cooking show. The show is called “What’s For Dinner, Mom?”   Here’s the premise:  Each contestant must cook a palatable, nutritious dinner while a screaming toddler hangs on her left leg and a three-legged Australian shepherd counter surfs, occasionally scoring a […]

Tweet Pancho, my three-legged Australian Shepherd, has a job.  This past summer, his groomer, Roger, said to me, “You should get him certified as a therapy dog.  He’s such a sweetheart that I think he’d be really good.” We started Pet Therapy classes in September, and under the expert training of Pat Ennis, he and […]

Tweet “Dogs are our energetic mirrors.  They reflect what we are on the inside.  And since my life is calm and drama-free now, my dogs never give me any material.”  I actually said that to my sister last week. On Wednesday, those words turned right around and bit me hard. Pancho, who I dressed as […]

Tweet We buried a dachshund this morning.  As I patted down the last clods of dirt on his grave, I said to my kids, “Well, I guess there’s been a collective sigh of relief among the postal workers and the UPS and FedEX guys this morning.”   It was the truest thing I could have […]

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